Monday, 24 November 2008

soon they will tell me when i can and cannot breathe

I wonder how many members of the National Fatwa Council have ever been to a yoga lesson.

According to these people,
yoga is haram because it involves chants and the worship of another god of another religion.

I practice yoga. I have been for the past 6 or 7 years, on and off.

I don't chant at yoga classes. I'm not sure what the National Fatwa Council people mean when they say people chant at yoga classes. When?! I have problems even breathing properly during a yoga lesson. Between standing up on one leg and and putting my other leg next to my ear, i don't even have the ability to breathe properly, let alone chant anything out loud. Any words that come out of my mouth is usually an expletive about how heavy my bottom is and why I can't seem to fold my legs properly.

I used to go for Ashtanga classes that were taught by certified/authorised Ashtanga teachers. They are purists. They would start each practice with the Ashtanga chant. This chant is in Sanskrit. It talks about the practice of yoga. (It's actually used in the first season Heroes series, in the background. You have to listen very properly though). It does not talk about God, let alone "another god of another religion". And every single certified or authorised Ashtanga teacher who chose to start with the chant will tell the class that they don't have to chant if they do not wish to.

Repeat: These are the purist Ashtanga classes. There aren't many of those around. The other classes I go to, at the gym or at yoga centres, have no chants in them at all. And there is definitely no act of worship there.

Go to any yoga centre and ask most people who practice yoga why they're there. And everyone will tell you it's because of the exercise. They like the way they feel after a good yoga workout. Some say they are not leaner and fitter. (I'm told you need to go quite regularly to achieve that effect!) Lets face it, it's all about body beautiful.

Yoga has never been a religious experience for me. It is however, the best form of exercise I have ever done. I am quite active. I play a lot of sport. I work out. Okay, admittedly I've been a bit lazy of late, but I do work out. I am generally healthy. And out of the swimming, netball, tennis, jogging, weights - I do think that yoga is the best form of exercise I have ever done. It is complete. I start by getting my heart rate up, I build strength, I stretch, and I cool down properly. I concentrate on my breathing, and as a result, I sweat buckets.

For the National Fatwa Council to now take this away from my by unilaterally and arbitrarily saying it is haram is unbelievable.

I understand Islam. I understand the edicts, the teaching and the reasons behind the teachings. I know what I should and should not do. Never have I ever, in the past 6 or 7 years, thought that I was worshipping another god of another religion when I go for yoga classes. And for the NFC to suggest that I may be swayed is both insulting and incredible.

There are God's words and then there are man's interpretations of God's words. You'll excuse me if I question and challenge the latter.

Monday, 22 September 2008

my father, my guide

3 years ago today : -
I was at work. It was a busy time. I remember we were advising those American lawyers on some aspect of Malaysian law. Exciting. Stressful.

Amidst the craziness, K called to ask if I had time to have lunch. He wanted to take a client out and thought maybe I shd meet him. I agreed. We picked the client up from his office. As soon as he got in the car, I wanted to get out. He was the singularly most offensive man I had ever met. I disliked him immediately. I was quite shocked by my repulsion. It usually takes me a while before I decide I don't like someone. I remember the conversation going something like this: -

K: - Hello. (to client as he gets in the car). (Introduces everyone)
C: - So, why you decide to take me for lunch today?
K: - I'm not so busy today, so I thought we should have lunch today.
C: - Oh, no work is it?
Me: -So, where shall we go for lunch? Where would you like to have lunch, client?
C: - You're the one taking me. You decide.
Me: - K? Any preference?
K: - I'm fine. You sure client you don't have any preference?
C: - Wah, I worry man that my lawyers can't even decide where to have lunch. How do you all manage my files?

This was 5 minutes into the lunch and I was already physically repulsed by this horrible disgusting man.

We finally decided on a restaurant. We were still looking at the menus and deciding on what to have when my telephone rang. It was Ida. Ayah had passed away.

I was calm. I usually am in these situations. My main concern at the time was how to get home. I told K what happened, who said he'd take me back to the office where my car was parked. I would then be able to drive home.

I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Now, the pain will stop. It had only been a few days before that when Mak woke me up at 3 a.m. and asked me to hold Ayah's hand, because he was in such excruciating pain and needed some comforting. The chemo-pod and the palliative medication no longer had any effect. The pain was the worse it had ever been.
I was also morbidly grateful to Ayah for getting me out of that lunch! (I intensely disliked that man. I met him again a few months later, and he was still as repulsive.) I remember laughing about it with Ida a few weeks later. Ayah would have found it funny. He was the worst of all of us. The irony of how he helped me, even in death, would not have been lost on him.
Today, 3 years on, you still guide me. I wonder what you would say or do if you knew I would do something or other. And I haven't done too badly, I don't think. You'll still despair, I'm sure, but a bit less now than you did before (I hope!)
I miss you. I miss your quiet wisdom, your cheeky laughter, your strength and your support.

Thursday, 18 September 2008

older and wiser? part ii

how odd. this is my "horoscope" today : -

Fight against your tendency to mull over the past instead of dealing with the present time and preparing the future. One can change nothing to the past, whether for good or ill; therefore, it would be better to leave it in oblivion. All activities related to purchasing or selling will be favored. Tackle long-term projects which are in wait for a conclusion. Also, concentrate your attention on all business which begins to stir and which deserves to be handled. Despite evident inconvenience, you'll readily mingle love and work.

older and wiser?

if you could do it all again, would you have done things differently?

i found myself asking that same question this morning.

and the answer was yes. knowing what i know now, i would do a lot of things differently.

but i'm not sure how that would have worked. i wouldn't know the things i know now if i had done things differently. i wouldn't have met the same people, had the same experiences, made the same mistakes. i would know different things, and the different me today may well decide to do things the way i did do them in the first place.

the point is, regret is tiring and pointless. an awareness of your mistakes is a lot more productive.

so yes, i would do a lot of things differently. i wouldn't have given up on PR quite so easily. i would have given up on ES a lot earlier. i would have talked to FJ that time she tried to talk to me.

but honestly, i don't think if i did do those things, the results would have been any different. i don't think i would be in that different a place from where i am right now.

this is it. this is my life. live it.

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

brick walls and bigotry

"you can have race-based parties, but you don't have to be racist bigots" said Datuk Zaid Ibrahim on his last day of office.

well said sir.

and to those malays who feel threatened and angry: - there is nothing to be scared of.

the non-malays are not trying to take away this country from you. this country is as much theirs as it is yours. it is ours.

the non-muslims are not trying to undermine your rights as a muslim or your religion. they just don't want you to undermine them.

it is reported that Zaid Ibrahim says he is constantly met with a brick wall from the Cabinet when he suggests reform. He is accused of being less than Malay. the prime minister is apparently "supportive within his own constraints".

i'm sorry. but that is not good enough, I'm afraid. you have to try harder.

the people need someone to govern this country. if you won't do it, then let someone who will.

govern. not pillage. not rape. not molest.

nurture. not retard.

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

Squatters? Do our children even know what the word means?

Did he really do that? Did DATUK Ahmad Ismail actually call Chinese Malaysians (not Malaysian Chinese, people!) squatters and immigrants?

Gerakan and Penang MCA are right to sever ties with Penang UMNO. Memalukan is probably too mild a word to describe this feeling of nausea I am experiencing at the moment.

Enough is enough. Malay Malaysians should just stop feeling insecure and scared. How much more help do you want? 51 years of Merdeka and where are we now? Have we regressed? I think so. The 9th Malaysia Plan and yet the divide between the urban and rural Malays is still immense, if not bigger.

There are calls to abolish that grand plan to teach Maths and Science in English at schools. Studies conducted by University Pendidikan Sultan Idris and led by Professor Emeritus Isahak Haron showed that most students
didn't really understand what was going on in class. Basically because they didn't understand English. The Malays and Orang Asli pupils had the lowest scores. When asked to complete the sentence "He ..... to bed", an average of 14 per cent and 19 per cent (two different groups) got the answer right. That is quite a scary statistic.

Now children are "taught" English at school, but cannot follow Maths and Science at school because these subjects are taught in English. So it is not enough that they can't speak English, now they can't count either. Great.

It of course goes without saying that the rural Malay pupils fared worse than the urban Malay pupils. So, again, it appears that only the urban Malays are benefitting from the programme. A bit like all the other UMNO and BN programmes then. And this was the great UMNO plan. This is what UMNO is doing for the rural Malays.

My late grandfather spoke English. He grew up in the kampung. He didn't go to English school. Actually, I'm not sure if he even went to school... Yet he spoke English. But he was from a time before UMNO was formed. That great bastion of Malay hope. Indeed.

So UMNO members, UMNO politicians, general insecure Melayu people - instead of placing the blame of your lot on Chinese Malaysians, Indian Malaysians and other non-Malays - maybe you want to look inward first? Apa lagi awak nak? Do you really believe that you lay a better claim to this land than Tun Sambathan's descendants, than Tun Tan Siew Sin's grandchildren? Do you really? Do you really believe that you are more Malaysian than that Chinese Malaysian whose forefather worked the tin mines in Perak? How dare you?

Ask yourselves this - where were you from originally? How Melayu are you really? Aren't we all squatters and immigrants then?

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

happy birthday my lovely

If I Could Tell You - W.H Auden

Time will say nothing but I told you so,
Time only knows the price we have to pay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.

If we should weep when clowns put on their show,
If we should stumble when musicians play,
Time will say nothing but I told you so.

There are no fortunes to be told, although,
Because I love you more than I can say,
If I could tell you I would let you know.

The winds must come from somewhere when they blow,
There must be reasons why the leaves decay;
Time will say nothing but I told you so.

Perhaps the roses really want to grow,
The vision seriously intends to stay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.

Suppose all the lions get up and go,
And all the brooks and soldiers run away;
Will Time say nothing but I told you so?
If I could tell you I would let you know.

Friday, 8 August 2008

special day?

i've been waiting for this day for a long time actually. the same way i waited for 07.07.07, 06.06.06 and 05.05.05. the same way i'll wait for 09.09.09.

and as usual, it's been an anti-climax. the wait was more exciting than the actual event. it's been a pretty ordinary day actually. work, dinner after work - usual day.

although it is the official opening of the beijing olympics today, so that makes it quite special. even if it doesn't involve any actual movement on my part - except maybe when i want to make a fresh cup of tea.

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

settling down

Mummra's here for 2 nights. I've left her at home. I should try to get away early today and spend some time with her.

She's been great. All excited about settling me down. Bless her. But I don't need 12 glasses... really. I'm one person. Plus I have running water which helps me wash glasses.

Have spent 2 nights at TGR now. I like it. I'm glad I decided on it. Even if I did burst the bloody budget. Hah! Asya doesn't stick to her budget. for a change...

Friday, 4 July 2008

2nd weekend in SIN

what a laugh - I had 3 parties to go to tonight.

and guess where I am.

but all such exciting work though. project finance, notes, bonds. I sound mad. really.

where did Asya Jamaludin go? It's 830 on a Friday night, I'm at work and I'm excited about it?!!

but i have to get out of here soon - Federer plays Safin tonight in the Wimbledon Semi-finals - must, must watch as it's not something that will happen again anytime soon! Come on!!!

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

a month on

week 5.

Time to start having a life in SIN. Going back to KUL 3 weekends out of 4 is just silly and ridiculous. Plus it gets to be a little expensive after a while.

Got keys to apartment at TGR yesterday - all very exciting. But not moving out of SMD just yet. No Starhub at TGR, which means no Wimbledon. So it can't be done really. One needs to get one's priorities right... And not to mention the fact that there isn't bedding, pillows, towels, kettle, mugs, etc at TGR. Makes it a bit difficult to have a cup of tea and sleeping on plastic is not good practice if one wants to wake up refreshed and rested.

I suppose I could have managed, but it's the fact that I won't get to watch Wimbledon that swung it. The decision to stay on at SMD was made for me. No brainer really. And ST understood.

So - lists for the weekend.

1) Starhub man - how important?!
2) Kettle.
3) Toaster
4) Mug.
5) Plates.
6) Forks, knives and spoons.
7) Bed sheets.
8) Pillows.
9) Bed covers.

Oh cripes... I'm just tired thinking of it.

Saturday, 14 June 2008

First weekend in SG

and I'm in the OFFICE!!!

well, I suppose that is the reason why I stayed here this weekend. papers to file on Monday, late instructions, ya di da di da...

so, two weeks completed at the new job, and the verdict - great.

work is good, the new boss is great. it was one of my greatest concerns actually - working for someone other than Boss. I had always said that I only needed 2 people to help me with my work, Boss and ES. If I had a problem, I only needed to speak with them and they would sort me out. No problem would then be too big, and if this makes sense to anyone, I felt safe. Confident that whatever advice they gave me would be the right one. I think that need to work for someone you could look to for advice, look up to (figuratively speaking of course, not physically...) came from that horrible experience of having to work for that prat in T. So it was a concern, which turned out to be unfounded.

and the Singaporeans have been great too. The efficiency of the place goes without saying. It is so refreshing to have things work for a change. Things get done. I haven't lost it yet. I'm a calmer person. More quiet. No rants about secretaries now for this blog! E and N are great. I'm beginning to gush - a concept quite alien to me.

But then 2 weeks is not long enough for me to transform completely! There are some people who still piss me off, of course! And just my arse luck to turn up in Singapore and meet annoying, irritating, idiotic Malaysians. I managed to avoid them all the time I was in KL - and I meet them here!!! WTF?!!!

My karma? or God being fair? I can't have it too great. It'll keep me humble, you think? arrgghh... it's so painful...

Thursday, 22 May 2008

i'm sorry, Mr. Singh

I feel the need to apologise to Mr. Karpal Singh, the MP for Bukit Gelugor, who 2 days ago received a threatening letter and a live bullet. The letter warned Mr. Singh against questioning "keistimewaan orang Melayu" and the powers of the Malay rulers. It then asked Mr. Singh to remember that he is a "Bengali" and that if he didn't stop, the live bullet would be embedded in his forehead.

Karpal Singh had commented on the jurisdiction of the Sultan of Perak to reinstate a state staff member. This is taken by a lot of people as him challenging the powers of the Sultan of Perak.

Why are we Malays so insecure? What are we scared of? Karpal Singh was right to ask whether the Sultan had jurisdiction to do what he did or not. It was a matter of interpreting his powers. How did questioning whether someone could constitutionally do something become challenging his powers and position as a ruler? Jawap je lah. Apa yang nak marah-marah sampai nak bunuh orang? If the Sultan was within his constitutional powers to do what he did, then you should be able to defend his actions. If he wasn't, then it needs to be explained. The way the behaviour of the Council of Rulers in Terengganu need to be explained. I'm sorry, but the last time I checked, I failed to notice that this was a feudal system.

But what I really feel the need to apologise to Mr. Karpal Singh for is the racial abuse he's receiving from these so called "istimewa orang Melayu". I'm sorry. I'm sorry that members of my race are so cowardly, so insecure, so pompous, so racist, so scared and so offensive. I'm sorry that after 50 years of Independence, we are no closer to creating a Bangsa Malaysia. I'm sorry that after all your contributions to society, you are regarded as unistimewa by some very unpalatable people.

I am mortified. I am embarrassed. I am angry - angry that these Malays are able to, by their actions or inactions and words, take away all the credibility and goodwill of all the other hardworking honest and good Malays.

These people who brandish kerises, fighting for so-called Malay rights are the exact type of people who take away the rights and opportunities from the rural Malays that the NEP sought to help. These are the shameless people who have no qualms in selling their rights and opportunities to make a quick buck.

It is not Mr. Karpal Singh who is your enemy, you fools. You are your own worse enemy.

Tuesday, 20 May 2008

of gangrene and thorns

so Tun Mahathir announced that he was quitting UMNO yesterday; and his wife too apparently.

He has asked other party members to join him in this radical move, which he likened to
removing gangrene in order for the party to survive.

do you think he meant to say that? do you think he meant to liken himself to gangrene?

I don't think he's gangrene though - maybe a thorn in the flesh, like Musa Hitam said - but not gangrene surely...?

not yet lah.

Saturday, 17 May 2008

MP for Rembau

My mother is brilliant. Sometimes. And today is one of those times.

She went back to Rembau this morning - for some meeting or other at 9a.m.

The MP for Rembau was meant to attend that meeting, but at 930a.m, someone received a text message from the erstwhile and charming YB Encik Khairy Jamaludin saying that he couldn't attend the meeting sebab ada mesyuarat yang lebih penting di FAM.

Sial tak?

But my mother is cool-lah. Her response.

"Takpe kalau tak dapat datang. Kita dah jemput awak lama. FAM pun dah jemput lama agaknya. Awak ada PA. Kalau tak dapat datang, suruhlah PA awak beritahu kita sebelum pukul 9pagi. Bukan buat semua orang tunggu awak, lepas tu baru hantar sms selepas mesyuarat dah patut mula.

Kata nak jadi pemimpin global. Macamana nak jadi pemimpin global, orang kampung pun kau tak dapat jaga."

Hahahah! Brilliant. I hope someone tells him what she said. But then he's such a pachyderm he'll probably tak terasa pun.